Simply Stacy Poetry

A Lyrical Journey For the Heart & Soul

The Journey To Loving Me and She…

I literally had to become an adult before I learned how what I think manifests into what I speak and what I speak ultimately turns into what I do.  Women I encountered outside of my mother, unknowingly taught me how to dislike other women, without knowing them.  I became conditioned, not because of what I experienced, solely based off of what I “learned” by hearing to “size her up.”  Now, let’s put a little bit of logic to how a person heals, transforms, and grows out of such behaviors.  Learned behavior develops in layers, year after year after year… thick and stacked high!  It takes time to remove those layers, thought processes over time, but God can do anything and He can do it quickly (His quick is not our quick though ha ha!) Something happens to break through one or a few of those layers and as each layer is peeled away, the freer that person becomes, their thoughts change, ideas change, perceptions change.  That’s exactly what happened to me… and the root of why “I didn’t like her… without even knowing her… is because I didn’t like me.”  I had to first learn to sincerely love me, I had to believe what I said about me, for real.  You know we live in a world where it’s easy to pick up a mask, place it on, live for the day, take it off, go to sleep and do it all over again day after day, month after month, year after year.  I did that, lived behind the mask of false confidence, I didn’t like what I saw when I looked in the mirror and that made it easy to dislike others, women especially, especially women who had confidence.

God broke through to me, me being completely unwilling of course… but He did.  It was in those moments, I learned, that when God sets out to accomplish something in you, it will get done and the sooner you say yes, the more impact He will have.  He gave me two daughters… they came from me, I couldn’t teach them the ugliness that resided in me.  The process began of loving me, because of how much I loved them.  I had to first accept and love the color of my skin.  I am dark skinned and within my culture and outside of my culture, I was made to feel that dark skinned women aren’t beautiful. I bought into those lies, I didn’t like the skin I was in and on top of that, I have an overbite, I walk with a limp due to a birth defect, I’m big-skinny (fat stomach, small legs, big chest, fact face) LOL, I know, silly… but I didn’t like who I saw when I looked at me, thought about me.  I remembered the words of life my momma spoke over me as a little girl. I started to believe the words my husband affirmed over me, and the how my daddy said I was beautiful. It started there, I knew when I looked at my daughters that they were beautiful and I wanted to make sure they believed that about themselves when I told them that.  In doing that, I was reminded that I couldn’t expect them to believe me, when I didn’t believe my own mother’s words.

Anyway, God began to break down the layers and with ever layer removed from me, I was able to see my fellow sister in a different light.  I found myself after about a 15 year delayering process loving me.  I loved the beauty, the variety, the originality of women.  My black sisters, were becoming works of art in my eyes, no longer beings that I disliked because of my own insecurities.  She was the epitome of beauty to me. When I looked around I saw different types of women, shapes of women and it encouraged me.  I was inspired to accept my originality and now I want to be surrounded.  I am interested in learning about the different gifts each woman possesses, I want to embrace my fellow sisters of my culture and other cultures, identifying with our similarities and understanding our intricacies.  I want to kill the stereotype that I’d once made my reality… “Women just don’t get along.”  That’s a false statement that I want to bury with every woman that God blesses to connect with me.  I love me…. and now I can love she because we are one in the same, originally made.

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July 26, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

GIVING BACK: I Am Valuable Mentoring Program™ School/College Supply Drive

Hey Hey WP Family!!

If you’re in the ATL metro area, I Am Valuable Mentoring Program™ is collecting school and college supplies to distribute to the kids in the community!! Won’t you come out to Urban Grind Coffeehouse, 962 Marietta Street, Atlanta, GA  30318 we will be there from 6p to 8p collecting school and college supplies.  We will be back on August 4th from 3 to 5 to hand out the supplies we collect to kids in the community, so make sure you make your way if you’re in the A… let’s contribute to our future… no act is TOO SMALL!!

I Am Valuable Mentoring Program™ thanks you for supporting!!

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July 28, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

   

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