Simply Stacy Poetry

A Lyrical Journey For the Heart & Soul

A Long Time Coming

God has been tugging at my heart to visit my blog for the past few days.  I really didn’t understand why because I was journaling again and that was something I hadn’t done in a while, I was hoping He’d let me gather a little more consistency in that before He pushed me to blog again.  I logged in and tripped out a little bit at how long its been since I blogged, two years — WOW.  Well, here I am.  I wish I could tell y’all that I have some profound thought to share filled with exciting words and a roller coaster ride of emotions but I’d be lying to you in a major way.

I am here because I’ve been on an interesting journey that I’m being led to share the condensed version of.  Have you ever prayed and asked God to help you make better decisions? Or maybe this prayer, “Lord, use me for Your Glory?” Or my favorite, “God, please make me better, help me make better decisions.”  You ever heard someone say, “Be careful what you pray for?” Yeah, all of these statements and prayer types have crossed my ears a time or two, but the realization of those statements and requests busted me in the mouth in the last 365 days.

One year ago, God performed a major miracle in my life.  Now’s not the time to go to deep into that, but if you read this blog and you’re interested in knowing more about that amazing miracle, feel free to email me, I’m all too happy to testify of God’s AMAZING power.  Anyway, after that miracle was performed I believe the rulers of the dark world were pretty dog on mad at that solid victory God secured in my life, so they went to strategizing.  My mind played tricks on me, I was subscribing to crazy thoughts, and worst of all I disobeyed God.  Giving in to all of those things, led me astray from God, but not out of His reach.  God allowed me to travel what I “thought” was a wayward road to get me here… to today.

After that miracle and then straying down a road of “doing my own thing” (for my bible scholars, “Leaning to my own understanding”) God used that entire period to draw me to Him.  I was drawn to God in the most unusual way.  I was in so much pain and torment as a result of the choices I made, I was desperate for God, I mean DESPERATE!  The end of my downward spiral was as simple as my very next decision.  I had to decide that I wanted to feel better and do better.  It was as simple as my next decision, but it wasn’t as easy as my next decision (I promise I am going somewhere).  The road to seeing that outcome of that choice was hard but rewarding.  God began to show me where I veered off course, then He showed me characteristics within me (that if I can be honest I REFUSED to deal with) that made me susceptible to the enemy.  I was in such a place of desperation to do “it all” God’s way that I was praying, fasting, studying, reading and denying myself in every area I could to ensure I heard Him.  I did hear Him, I didn’t walk in 100% obedience during this time and a lot of that was because of self-doubt and insecurity that I was actually hearing from God after all I’d done.

That journey landed me right here… a place I haven’t visited in two years, but it seems God is using it to heal my land.  I experienced fear like I’ve never experienced before finally recognizing that I needed God and God alone to make it out of my self-inflicted storms.  The journey to feeling better, hearing clearer and drawing closer I am extremely thankful for; however, I will NOT lie to y’all in this blog and say I would do it all over again if I had to… man NAWL! NOPE, NO, NADDA! It is my hope that I will be clear of mind to hear and heed God the next time I think a detour will get me to the destination quicker and He says no.  I am still very much in the process of healing, growing, learning and being pruned of the tares I’ve entangled myself with from my year’s journey, but I can say without a shadow of a doubt God is WITH ME!

I hope you enjoyed this read — thanks for reading!!

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March 28, 2018 Posted by | Hard Roads | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Your Choice…

There’s this wonderful thing called “free will,” that I think we grossly misunderstand.  No one person is without mistake, but the thing about making mistakes is whether or not you learn from them.  So, you’re free will… you make a choice, that choice results in a consequence, that consequence results in a process or pathway you travel and some choices leave us wondering, “Did I make the right choice?” or “Why did I make this choice?”  It’s funny, in my own learning, growing, changing, and being corrected, I have indeed found myself not always accepting the consequences of the choices I made.  Some things, I didn’t want to take responsibility for, I didn’t want to acknowledge that there were choices I made, some where that got me to this crazy point I stand at today.  I realize, not taking responsibility for the free will decisions I’ve made and instead wanting to blame God or even another person for the outcome as a result of my choices, prevented me from LEARNING from it.  I used to be that person… victim, the one people wanted to hurt, or my favorite, “Oh I’m a black sheep…”  However, today, I realize that was a coward out, a way for me to avoid have to pull myself up by my boot straps, swallow my pride and say, “Hey, you made a few mistakes, some choice that landed you here, but now, wash your face, look to God and find out the next step He wants you to take to begin the correction and restoration process.”

I am not saying, that everything someone goes through is their fault, because there are God allowed things that happen in our lives, that I just gotta be honest, we aren’t meant to understand them.  I believe that is the pill that is the hardest to swallow for a free will being… especially living in a country where many people actually believe they are entitled.  This message, is simply about taking responsibility for where you are in life.  I can’t put my mouth on any one else, but Stacy, oh boy have I taken the process I was meant to endure and blame someone else for it.  I was foolishly bold enough to even say, “God is selective in whom He loves, because if He really loved me, I wouldn’t be going through: [this].”  In essence, I didn’t believe God’s Word, that “all things work together for good to those who love God…(Romans 8:28)”  What God promised in that scripture couldn’t come true in my life until I believed the second part of it, “to those who are called according to His purpose.”  The second part of that scripture to me means, I had to first believe He called me and secondly, I had to trust what He called me for…including all that I had to face in this life.  I wanted God in my life when it benefited me, I didn’t want to serve Him, I wanted Him to serve me.  Don’t raise your eyebrows at that statement, every time we deviate from God’s plans, purpose for something, every time we make a choice that directly contradicts His will… we say in no uncertain terms, “God I want You to serve me; I’m not interested in serving, obeying and trusting You or Your plans.” I think if we truly heard ourselves saying those words when we ignore the still small voice, the gut feeling, the countless warnings He gives us right before we do something of our own free will, we’d be less likely to do it.

Even in the making of the mistake, the blatant decisions I’ve made which resulted in me enduring a tough process, there’s Hope; God still covers and protects, while He corrects. I love that the choices I’ve made can be used to make me a better me if I first take responsibility for the choice I made, repent and ask God to lead me, decrease me that He might increase within me.  I know that is something tough for people to grasp… God having such a measure of faithfulness, such a Love for a people who turn their backs on Him and blame Him at every turn, but He still blesses, protects, covers, re-directs, shares, cares, and wants them apart of Him.  But again, to see that… guess what it starts with… Your Choice.

July 19, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Selfish? or Selfless??

There’s a lot to be said about the words selfish and selfless

Dictionary definitions: selfish – Lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure; selfless – Concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one’s own.

I realize to arrive to the place of selflessness you will go through a process, there’s A LOT of stuff God has to work out of you in order to get to the place of putting someone else’s needs before your own. I mean, let’s be real, we were born selfish, it was in our nature from birth. When you were a baby, you cried because you needed to eat, be changed, be held, go to sleep.  As a small child  you were only worried about yourself, your needs, what you wanted. Teenage years, you cared about things that benefited you, what you needed, desired, had to have and then you arrive to adulthood…

Now, the layers of selfishness stacked upon you over time, so it takes just as much time to delayer you; so then, God steps in… you allow Christ full access to you life and He begins to take you on the journey of placing others needs before your own.  You go through a series of situations, each one working out a selfish characteristic that your heart once held; arriving to today!  I find myself desiring to be more selfless and less selfish and when God grants me that request, life seems to be so much more rewarding…

Questions To Consider: Are you giving more than you’re getting? When you give, are you giving because it’s something you really want to do? Or do you give because that’s what “everyone” expects you to do?  When you give; does it benefit you? Or do you sincerely have the best interest of the one you’re helping in mind??

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April 5, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

   

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