Simply Stacy Poetry

A Lyrical Journey For the Heart & Soul

The Journey To Loving Me and She…

I literally had to become an adult before I learned how what I think manifests into what I speak and what I speak ultimately turns into what I do.  Women I encountered outside of my mother, unknowingly taught me how to dislike other women, without knowing them.  I became conditioned, not because of what I experienced, solely based off of what I “learned” by hearing to “size her up.”  Now, let’s put a little bit of logic to how a person heals, transforms, and grows out of such behaviors.  Learned behavior develops in layers, year after year after year… thick and stacked high!  It takes time to remove those layers, thought processes over time, but God can do anything and He can do it quickly (His quick is not our quick though ha ha!) Something happens to break through one or a few of those layers and as each layer is peeled away, the freer that person becomes, their thoughts change, ideas change, perceptions change.  That’s exactly what happened to me… and the root of why “I didn’t like her… without even knowing her… is because I didn’t like me.”  I had to first learn to sincerely love me, I had to believe what I said about me, for real.  You know we live in a world where it’s easy to pick up a mask, place it on, live for the day, take it off, go to sleep and do it all over again day after day, month after month, year after year.  I did that, lived behind the mask of false confidence, I didn’t like what I saw when I looked in the mirror and that made it easy to dislike others, women especially, especially women who had confidence.

God broke through to me, me being completely unwilling of course… but He did.  It was in those moments, I learned, that when God sets out to accomplish something in you, it will get done and the sooner you say yes, the more impact He will have.  He gave me two daughters… they came from me, I couldn’t teach them the ugliness that resided in me.  The process began of loving me, because of how much I loved them.  I had to first accept and love the color of my skin.  I am dark skinned and within my culture and outside of my culture, I was made to feel that dark skinned women aren’t beautiful. I bought into those lies, I didn’t like the skin I was in and on top of that, I have an overbite, I walk with a limp due to a birth defect, I’m big-skinny (fat stomach, small legs, big chest, fact face) LOL, I know, silly… but I didn’t like who I saw when I looked at me, thought about me.  I remembered the words of life my momma spoke over me as a little girl. I started to believe the words my husband affirmed over me, and the how my daddy said I was beautiful. It started there, I knew when I looked at my daughters that they were beautiful and I wanted to make sure they believed that about themselves when I told them that.  In doing that, I was reminded that I couldn’t expect them to believe me, when I didn’t believe my own mother’s words.

Anyway, God began to break down the layers and with ever layer removed from me, I was able to see my fellow sister in a different light.  I found myself after about a 15 year delayering process loving me.  I loved the beauty, the variety, the originality of women.  My black sisters, were becoming works of art in my eyes, no longer beings that I disliked because of my own insecurities.  She was the epitome of beauty to me. When I looked around I saw different types of women, shapes of women and it encouraged me.  I was inspired to accept my originality and now I want to be surrounded.  I am interested in learning about the different gifts each woman possesses, I want to embrace my fellow sisters of my culture and other cultures, identifying with our similarities and understanding our intricacies.  I want to kill the stereotype that I’d once made my reality… “Women just don’t get along.”  That’s a false statement that I want to bury with every woman that God blesses to connect with me.  I love me…. and now I can love she because we are one in the same, originally made.

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July 26, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Your Choice…

There’s this wonderful thing called “free will,” that I think we grossly misunderstand.  No one person is without mistake, but the thing about making mistakes is whether or not you learn from them.  So, you’re free will… you make a choice, that choice results in a consequence, that consequence results in a process or pathway you travel and some choices leave us wondering, “Did I make the right choice?” or “Why did I make this choice?”  It’s funny, in my own learning, growing, changing, and being corrected, I have indeed found myself not always accepting the consequences of the choices I made.  Some things, I didn’t want to take responsibility for, I didn’t want to acknowledge that there were choices I made, some where that got me to this crazy point I stand at today.  I realize, not taking responsibility for the free will decisions I’ve made and instead wanting to blame God or even another person for the outcome as a result of my choices, prevented me from LEARNING from it.  I used to be that person… victim, the one people wanted to hurt, or my favorite, “Oh I’m a black sheep…”  However, today, I realize that was a coward out, a way for me to avoid have to pull myself up by my boot straps, swallow my pride and say, “Hey, you made a few mistakes, some choice that landed you here, but now, wash your face, look to God and find out the next step He wants you to take to begin the correction and restoration process.”

I am not saying, that everything someone goes through is their fault, because there are God allowed things that happen in our lives, that I just gotta be honest, we aren’t meant to understand them.  I believe that is the pill that is the hardest to swallow for a free will being… especially living in a country where many people actually believe they are entitled.  This message, is simply about taking responsibility for where you are in life.  I can’t put my mouth on any one else, but Stacy, oh boy have I taken the process I was meant to endure and blame someone else for it.  I was foolishly bold enough to even say, “God is selective in whom He loves, because if He really loved me, I wouldn’t be going through: [this].”  In essence, I didn’t believe God’s Word, that “all things work together for good to those who love God…(Romans 8:28)”  What God promised in that scripture couldn’t come true in my life until I believed the second part of it, “to those who are called according to His purpose.”  The second part of that scripture to me means, I had to first believe He called me and secondly, I had to trust what He called me for…including all that I had to face in this life.  I wanted God in my life when it benefited me, I didn’t want to serve Him, I wanted Him to serve me.  Don’t raise your eyebrows at that statement, every time we deviate from God’s plans, purpose for something, every time we make a choice that directly contradicts His will… we say in no uncertain terms, “God I want You to serve me; I’m not interested in serving, obeying and trusting You or Your plans.” I think if we truly heard ourselves saying those words when we ignore the still small voice, the gut feeling, the countless warnings He gives us right before we do something of our own free will, we’d be less likely to do it.

Even in the making of the mistake, the blatant decisions I’ve made which resulted in me enduring a tough process, there’s Hope; God still covers and protects, while He corrects. I love that the choices I’ve made can be used to make me a better me if I first take responsibility for the choice I made, repent and ask God to lead me, decrease me that He might increase within me.  I know that is something tough for people to grasp… God having such a measure of faithfulness, such a Love for a people who turn their backs on Him and blame Him at every turn, but He still blesses, protects, covers, re-directs, shares, cares, and wants them apart of Him.  But again, to see that… guess what it starts with… Your Choice.

July 19, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Processing – The Individual’s Journey

We walk many roads during our life’s journey and most of our journey’s can’t be explained or understood but we push forth to find our way.  As I grow I find myself learning and understanding the concept of processing and going through processes.  Life hasn’t been “easy” for me but it hasn’t been a constant strand of pain and misery either.  I am finally at a place in my journey where I am starting to connect the dots of my life that I once tagged with the label of misery and I appreciate it.  I realized, had hard, painful, stressful situations not happened in my life I would not know compassion the way I do.  I would not know the healing power of prayer, God’s miraculous delayering power that caused my once hardened heart to forgive.  I held on to a lot, I fought turning pages in my life that God meant for me to turn, and I internalized my hurts.  I started just opening my mouth and talking to God…. whereas I once “vented” to people, I simply started talking to God.  It was when I took those talks seriously that the processing began.  Things I once completely misunderstood about my life begin to make complete sense to me.  He’s fixing my heart; pieces of it are still missing, areas of it are still tender and bruised, but areas of it that I thought would never be healed are healed too.  I realize the processing is indeed working out for the good of me.

I have to let go, forgive, remember some things and forget others; more important than anything I have to endure the process to see a better, stronger, growing me.  I truly know what it means now when my grandma used to say, “Baby, don’t despise the process…” 

 

April 14, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I’m In This For You

I pour my heart out

To make sure there’s no doubt

That I’m in this for you

Enough following society’s standard

Of making you read my mind

I lay it all out there

Transparently on the line

I’m in this for you

No, you’re not my life

I had that before you came

I’m securely me

You’re securely you

Now we can be

One together

And individuals too

I just want to be clear

I hope you understand

That I’m in this for you

I’m your woman

You’re my man…

I’m in this for you

©SimplyStacy Copyright 2014. All Rights Reserved

June 30, 2014 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Who I Desire To Be…

“Integrity is who you are, when nobody’s looking…” “Hypocrisy is the antithesis of integrity, it is pretending to be what you never intended to be in the first place.” Rev. Dr. Trunell & Rev. Dr.Alexis Felder

“He who walks with integrity walks securely,
But he who perverts his ways will become known” Proverbs 10:9 NKJV

It’s easy to point out the flaws in others…but when you’re focused on growing up yourself, you soon learn, don’t waste your time worrying about the imperfections of others… work on your own. I desire to be a woman of integrity; have I had hypocritical moments? Absolutely, but it’s something about that mirror that God turns on you… I love Jesus so much, I find myself at a place of “I just don’t care…” let me explain…

1) I don’t care if they believe I’m saved or not 2) I don’t care if they agree with what I believe — if we ain’t headed in the same direction they made the choice of who I should have around me EASY 3) I don’t care that they seek to use my imperfections of me to refute my faith 4) I don’t care to justify why I do what I do as long as what I do is pleasing to Him 5) I don’t care about signifiers, they’re only doing their jobs ‪#‎watching‬… give em something to watch.

I care to live better, love better, be better…not for applause or notoriety; not to please people who’ll change faces as fast as they change places in line… Just because it’s worth it… even if I have to walk the path alone. After all, it is straight but narrow, right?

March 31, 2014 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Refocused, To Make Better Choices…

Service was really good at New Mercies today; I needed that, it was reiteration of the Word given back at the end of last year and I’m refocused, have been in refocus mode for about six weeks. I thank God for reminders like the Word that went forth today.  We need a healing, this world, the Church, needs a REAL healing. You know what’s funny about that though? God wants to heal us, but we choose to go against Him, mock and judge others who decide to walk with Him, box Him into religion and traditional practices, dismiss Him or pull Him out when it’s the “right” time to call on Him — how can He move when we make choices not to choose Him?

So, what do you do? Yes, of course you pray for as many people as you can, for as much change as you can. Then what? You do, as much as He equips you too — feed a homeless person regardless of their skin tone, make a stranger feel at home, give out of your overflow and even in your lack — forget about the religious rhetoric and assure God that in spite all that’s against Him you have His Back. Yes, I believe in Jesus Christ, that I won’t apologize for, in my heart I believe He saved my life — evened the score. I won’t argue with anyone about my beliefs, I’ll just keep believing, loving Him, sharing His principles and doing the best I can to grow into a better WOman every day…

If we just took a moment to stop, look around and ask ourselves, what good is our arguing, hateful spews, and judgmental views doing for a dying world? A dying community? For that family who needs food to eat? If they were white and you were black would you deny them a sandwich for their kids because of their hue? I could go on and on, but Lord I’ll leave this up to you.

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December 1, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , | Leave a comment

For Granted…

There are so many things we take for granted…we become comfortable in life and let each day pass us by until someone passes away that is… then we pause. Pause to reflect on how short life is and for a brief moment how much we take for granted.  What will it take for us to spend more time loving those we dismiss in our daily doings? To really thank God for the ability to breathe on our own? When will we take a moment to enjoy the changing of the day sincerely?  Is death the only trigger that will bring us back to the place of remembrance about what we take for granted?  What have you forgotten?

My “For Granted” List

I thank God for my sister friends — the one’s that will be there till the end

For the ability to breathe

For being loved unconditionally

For quiet moments that produce loud results

I’m thankful for the lessons learned from my faults

I will remember more

I will hold close what lies in store

“For Granted” will be forgotten

I won’t dismiss any of it anymore

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November 30, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , | Leave a comment

Why Do You Apologize

Why is it so difficult to be unapologetic about decisions we make regarding our personal lives?  What is it about us as individuals that make us feel the need to explain the choices we make to each other?  Here’s what’s funny, we work hard to live up to the standards of other people who struggle with the exact same issues as ourselves.  We allow folks to set expectations of us then we try to live up to them; making decisions in a bubble to please the imperfect.  Let’s ponder on that for a second; I know I’m guilty, can’t speak for anyone else.  I’m guilty of trying to please people, afraid I may offend someone or hurt their feelings because I believe a certain thing, feel a certain way or make certain choices about my life.  Why? Why do we do that?  Why can’t we be unapologetic about decisions we make regarding our personal lives…

Well, that’s why I am writing this, to change the dynamic that has plagued many of us for TOO LONG.  The dictionary definition of  unapologetic is not acknowledging or expressing regret.  Now, that does not mean you be unapologetic about reckless activity; however, when you make life choices, who you marry, career decision, health choices, choices about your family you should be unapologetic, owing no one an explanation outside of those directly impacted by your decision.  In short, quit trying your position and simply maintain it.  The only One I’m apologetic too about choices I make is God.  See, I’m mindful of Him, making sure I seek Him before I make moves, I don’t always get it right, but I certainly try a lot harder to make sure I’m led by Him.  As long as you have God’s stamp of a approval on the choices you can be unapologetic about how you proceed with your life…

Be unapologetic

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November 30, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , | Leave a comment

Spoken Enlightment: A Night of Poetry & Music

Hey WP Family!!

I hope you all are well, that your weekend has been good to you!! I want to take time out to invite those of you that are in or near the Atlanta metro area to a FREE event “Spoken Enlightenment.”  It’s a night of poetry and music, sponsored by the New Mercies Christian Church Source Singles Ministry!  We will be collecting funds to directly donate to breast cancer survivors who need resource assistance, such as medical bills, treatment costs, day to day bills that they can’t pay because they aren’t able to work.

This event is taking place on Friday, October 25TH AT 7:30p at New Mercies Christian Church, 4000 Five Forks Trickum Road, NW, Lilburn, GA 30047.  We will have 12 poets and 2 singers ready to knock your socks off with some poetry and music!  This event is FREE and open to the public – if you’d like to come out for it, please register at https://www.eventbrite.com/event/6150284667 (this is to ensure we have the seating set up to accommodate all attendees).

It’s going to be a GREAT time!! Check out your lineup —–> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYm9ISpyET4

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I hope you can make it out and if you do, please stop by and say hi to me, I would love to meet my Word Press Family!!

October 20, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Breaking the CHAINS…

In this journey of sharing poetry public, releasing books and CDs I’ve been given the privilege of meeting some AMAZING men and women who are doing HUGE things to help a hurting community! I’ve been invited to attend a FREE event taking place in the Atlanta metro area tomorrow, October 12th entitled, “Breaking the Chains.”  This event is being brought to the community by Angel of God Outreach to help men and women who’ve survived domestic violence.  WP, I want to invite you to come out and bring as many people as you’d like to support these wonderful men and women and if you’re in the position to donate to the cause please do!  Your donations will go toward providing resources to survivors who are transitioning, providing them resources to start over and fund therapy for survivors — your money will be working.

Come on out if you are able!!

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October 11, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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