Simply Stacy Poetry

A Lyrical Journey For the Heart & Soul

The Journey To Loving Me and She…

I literally had to become an adult before I learned how what I think manifests into what I speak and what I speak ultimately turns into what I do.  Women I encountered outside of my mother, unknowingly taught me how to dislike other women, without knowing them.  I became conditioned, not because of what I experienced, solely based off of what I “learned” by hearing to “size her up.”  Now, let’s put a little bit of logic to how a person heals, transforms, and grows out of such behaviors.  Learned behavior develops in layers, year after year after year… thick and stacked high!  It takes time to remove those layers, thought processes over time, but God can do anything and He can do it quickly (His quick is not our quick though ha ha!) Something happens to break through one or a few of those layers and as each layer is peeled away, the freer that person becomes, their thoughts change, ideas change, perceptions change.  That’s exactly what happened to me… and the root of why “I didn’t like her… without even knowing her… is because I didn’t like me.”  I had to first learn to sincerely love me, I had to believe what I said about me, for real.  You know we live in a world where it’s easy to pick up a mask, place it on, live for the day, take it off, go to sleep and do it all over again day after day, month after month, year after year.  I did that, lived behind the mask of false confidence, I didn’t like what I saw when I looked in the mirror and that made it easy to dislike others, women especially, especially women who had confidence.

God broke through to me, me being completely unwilling of course… but He did.  It was in those moments, I learned, that when God sets out to accomplish something in you, it will get done and the sooner you say yes, the more impact He will have.  He gave me two daughters… they came from me, I couldn’t teach them the ugliness that resided in me.  The process began of loving me, because of how much I loved them.  I had to first accept and love the color of my skin.  I am dark skinned and within my culture and outside of my culture, I was made to feel that dark skinned women aren’t beautiful. I bought into those lies, I didn’t like the skin I was in and on top of that, I have an overbite, I walk with a limp due to a birth defect, I’m big-skinny (fat stomach, small legs, big chest, fact face) LOL, I know, silly… but I didn’t like who I saw when I looked at me, thought about me.  I remembered the words of life my momma spoke over me as a little girl. I started to believe the words my husband affirmed over me, and the how my daddy said I was beautiful. It started there, I knew when I looked at my daughters that they were beautiful and I wanted to make sure they believed that about themselves when I told them that.  In doing that, I was reminded that I couldn’t expect them to believe me, when I didn’t believe my own mother’s words.

Anyway, God began to break down the layers and with ever layer removed from me, I was able to see my fellow sister in a different light.  I found myself after about a 15 year delayering process loving me.  I loved the beauty, the variety, the originality of women.  My black sisters, were becoming works of art in my eyes, no longer beings that I disliked because of my own insecurities.  She was the epitome of beauty to me. When I looked around I saw different types of women, shapes of women and it encouraged me.  I was inspired to accept my originality and now I want to be surrounded.  I am interested in learning about the different gifts each woman possesses, I want to embrace my fellow sisters of my culture and other cultures, identifying with our similarities and understanding our intricacies.  I want to kill the stereotype that I’d once made my reality… “Women just don’t get along.”  That’s a false statement that I want to bury with every woman that God blesses to connect with me.  I love me…. and now I can love she because we are one in the same, originally made.

July 26, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Your Choice…

There’s this wonderful thing called “free will,” that I think we grossly misunderstand.  No one person is without mistake, but the thing about making mistakes is whether or not you learn from them.  So, you’re free will… you make a choice, that choice results in a consequence, that consequence results in a process or pathway you travel and some choices leave us wondering, “Did I make the right choice?” or “Why did I make this choice?”  It’s funny, in my own learning, growing, changing, and being corrected, I have indeed found myself not always accepting the consequences of the choices I made.  Some things, I didn’t want to take responsibility for, I didn’t want to acknowledge that there were choices I made, some where that got me to this crazy point I stand at today.  I realize, not taking responsibility for the free will decisions I’ve made and instead wanting to blame God or even another person for the outcome as a result of my choices, prevented me from LEARNING from it.  I used to be that person… victim, the one people wanted to hurt, or my favorite, “Oh I’m a black sheep…”  However, today, I realize that was a coward out, a way for me to avoid have to pull myself up by my boot straps, swallow my pride and say, “Hey, you made a few mistakes, some choice that landed you here, but now, wash your face, look to God and find out the next step He wants you to take to begin the correction and restoration process.”

I am not saying, that everything someone goes through is their fault, because there are God allowed things that happen in our lives, that I just gotta be honest, we aren’t meant to understand them.  I believe that is the pill that is the hardest to swallow for a free will being… especially living in a country where many people actually believe they are entitled.  This message, is simply about taking responsibility for where you are in life.  I can’t put my mouth on any one else, but Stacy, oh boy have I taken the process I was meant to endure and blame someone else for it.  I was foolishly bold enough to even say, “God is selective in whom He loves, because if He really loved me, I wouldn’t be going through: [this].”  In essence, I didn’t believe God’s Word, that “all things work together for good to those who love God…(Romans 8:28)”  What God promised in that scripture couldn’t come true in my life until I believed the second part of it, “to those who are called according to His purpose.”  The second part of that scripture to me means, I had to first believe He called me and secondly, I had to trust what He called me for…including all that I had to face in this life.  I wanted God in my life when it benefited me, I didn’t want to serve Him, I wanted Him to serve me.  Don’t raise your eyebrows at that statement, every time we deviate from God’s plans, purpose for something, every time we make a choice that directly contradicts His will… we say in no uncertain terms, “God I want You to serve me; I’m not interested in serving, obeying and trusting You or Your plans.” I think if we truly heard ourselves saying those words when we ignore the still small voice, the gut feeling, the countless warnings He gives us right before we do something of our own free will, we’d be less likely to do it.

Even in the making of the mistake, the blatant decisions I’ve made which resulted in me enduring a tough process, there’s Hope; God still covers and protects, while He corrects. I love that the choices I’ve made can be used to make me a better me if I first take responsibility for the choice I made, repent and ask God to lead me, decrease me that He might increase within me.  I know that is something tough for people to grasp… God having such a measure of faithfulness, such a Love for a people who turn their backs on Him and blame Him at every turn, but He still blesses, protects, covers, re-directs, shares, cares, and wants them apart of Him.  But again, to see that… guess what it starts with… Your Choice.

July 19, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Just A Beat of My Heart…

Tonight WP I sit in a very familiar place; I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes and at the same time I feel them spilling over in my heart.  I am at a place that I’ve been before, I know it, I feel it.  So tonight, I am here not to vent or bring you down, but to encourage you all. Remain positive, NO MATTER WHAT life throws your way; remember what’s thrown at you, you CAN handle!  Hurt when left untreated can fester, corrode, and turn into a hardened rust that only God can heal.  Anger when left to sit can spread like a virus and infect everything and everyone it comes in contact with.  So someone may ask, “How do you deal with that?” “How do you cope?” Start by thinking on better thoughts… you can’t produce what isn’t already in your heart to come out…

Life is not an easy feat, it was never meant to be, however, I believe life was meant to be a journey full of lessons that results in blessings.  Some of the lessons we’re meant to learn in life don’t come to us in an easy way and those are the ones that I believe stick closest to your heart, the lessons that you can walk someone else through to help them avoid going through what you did to get what God intended to teach you.  So, tonight I sit here in the place of “Be anxious for nothing but in EVERYTHING give thanks…” and I have to do just that… in EVERYTHING… my angst, my hurt, my nervousness, I will GIVE THANKS!

I am not religious by any stretch of the imagination, I do however have a relationship with Jesus Christ and I believe He has something GREAT in store for me if I conquer this moment that attempts to ail me right now.  I just wanted to connect with you all WP Family; I pray you all have a beautiful evening and continue to be ENCOURAGED!Image

February 25, 2014 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Directed…

Yesterday, October 26th was an interesting day an emotional day. I woke up from a wonderful night of performing poetry and enjoying music with some GREAT artist friends. When I opened my eyes and got myself together, reality set in that today was the day I was going to the memorial of my dear friend’s father.  I had to be strong; this memorial affected me in more ways than one.  You see, I mourned for my friend because I understood what it meant to lose your father. Our stories were parallel in this experience because her daddy was  military vet, so was mine, her daddy died from liver cancer, so did mine and her daddy loved her with all his heart, so did mine.  I went, the service was beautiful but I cried…HARD. I cried, it reminded me of my dad’s passing, I looked around and it was like a poem coming to life — I saw the love of her family, it was genuine and I cried even more. 

Since my mom died 22 years ago, the tight bond of love amongst family for me has been non-existent.  What I mean by that is, outside of the intermediate family: dad, brothers and sisters; the cousins, aunts, cookouts, holiday dinners, simple get togethers went away.  My daddy wanted to continue that, but he soon caught on that people wanted to deal with who they wanted to deal with and you had to forge the relationships set before you.  My dad died June 2012, I remember sitting in the room at the hospice watching him fight to breath…I couldn’t cry, I tried but I couldn’t. Sitting in that church yesterday, listening to the family talk about the love that filled the room of my friend’s dad when he passed, how they embraced and prayed, I cried even more.  That was beautiful, I pictured it vividly in color it was beautiful. I was mindful of how hard I was crying because I didn’t want to offend my friend’s family, I didn’t know their loved one that well but my tears were real, I was hurting for my own reasons.

The service concluded and I won’t lie I practically ran out of the place. I got to my car, sat for a moment and pulled off. I stopped to get gas and decided to park to send a few texts. I paused, I text some people who were key players in ensuring the event I hosted the night before was successful.  I found myself texting my friends, letting them know how much I love them, what they mean to me and that I didn’t want to wait till they were being memorialized before I told them how important they are to me.  I sat for a while, not sure why I did, but I did and I finally pulled off an entire hour later after I’d left the church. I drove off, quietly. I turned on my iPod and drove along and as I was headed down 285 and I caught a glimpse of a woman, she was walking vigorously, as if she had somewhere to be. As quick as I saw her, was as quick as God spoke to me…. “Stop and pick her up…” so I did. I pulled over into the emergency lane and waited for her, as she approached my car, I rolled my window down and asked her where she was headed.  She said I’m heading to work. We were at exit 41 her job was exit 37 and she was walking with all her things.  I had to thank God for even positioning me to help her; when she got in the car I simply said, “God will supply all of your needs.” She thanked me and we rolled along.  She went on to tell me how she is caring for her sick husband and couldn’t afford to miss work.  She told me she needed to be there before two so she got off the bus and started walking because she knew she wouldn’t make it before then and look at God, I picked her up at 1:40p.

I dropped her off and I thanked God for that opportunity; it reminded me that God still directed me… God can use you, He wants too. Allow Him to lead you!

Image

October 27, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Give

What you give is what you get, right?

Well, what about the ones who give their all

But they get less than less

See, the premises on which you give

Should be, without expectation of reciprocation

Give because someone needs it

Give because your heart bleeds it

Give because it’s the right thing to do

Give with the goal of becoming a better you

Society’s standards say to keep your hands closed

Get yours and yours alone

But that gets your no where fast

Fattens a few and leaves poverty to the masses

Give to help, heal, furnish with hope

GIVE

Image

​©SimplyStacy Copyright 2013. All Rights Reserved

September 15, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Change

The dictionary defines change as the act or instance of making or becoming different, take or use another instead of, make or become different. In a society where you’re told never change, stay the same the act of changing proves to be difficult.  It amazes how when an individual changes for the better, that even in that change someone finds a reason to spew negativity or attempt to refute the change that person attempts to make.

Well, I am learning and have learned that you can’t worry about what people will say or think when YOU make the decision to change for the better.  For me, the smallest changes seemed to have made the most impact in my life and those around me.  The simple act of speaking to strangers, holding a door for others as you’re walking through or the best of all (for me at least) changing the way you speak — ha! I am not ashamed to admit, I had a cursing problem.  I never thought I’d see the day where I could get through a frustrating moment without cursing.  Though that change was an EXCELLENT shift in my  character… I am writing this blog to discuss a deeper change, that is occurring as we speak.

I attended a conference this past weekend; spiritual — not religious.  It instituted a change process in me that I didn’t believe I needed.  Ever made the mistake of thinking “you’re there?”  You know, you’ve conquered some mole hills and don’t think you need to “Face the Mountain?” That was me, just four days ago.  I boarded a charter bus from Lilburn, GA to Orlando, Florida at 6:30 a.m. on Thursday, August 22nd, thinking, “Oh yay, I’m going to a women’s conference to go to church, fellowship, gonna shop, sleep good and eat good.”  Little did I know, where I was headed that day was the first step to a MAJOR transformation.

I did all the things I mentioned in the previous paragraph except go to church.  Hilariously enough, I believed that was what I was going for, but God had a different plan in mind.  I didn’t go to church, I went to Jesus, I had an experience with Him.  You see, I’ve been saved for over 10 years, attended church longer than that, but this weekend, He showed me Who He REALLY is.  I’d played around, got serious when “I” wanted too and well, this weekend He wanted to make sure I KNEW for real!  No there wasn’t any thundering, lightening, massive voice blaring from the sky… it was actually the opposite, sunshine, clouds, cool breeze and calm.  He strategically used EVERY experience I had to minister directly to the MESS in me.  I went to FL thinking, I “got it together” in this area, need a “little work” in that area, boy, did He show me.

I went shopping on Friday afternoon, encountered a woman who continued to take shots at me, but she did it in a way that she was trying to be “funny” pun intended.  Well, little did I know God was preparing me for the message I would be hearing later that evening.  As the woman continued to tease, I found myself responding a lot differently than had I experienced this same scenario a few months ago.  I didn’t take low blows, but instead was very direct with her, ultimately letting her know that she didn’t know me and because she didn’t know me she should be careful how she judges me.

I arrived to service that evening to hear the teacher say, “Be careful how you respond to situations; you can’t go around cussing everybody out.” Ha! In my business for sure!  From that experience to the worship breakthrough I had on Saturday evening at the worship service, my God, it WAS NOT church as usual.  I was freed! Freed from a religious way of thinking that had me under the ignorant impression that I was “there” in certain areas of my life — thank God for His keen Eye to see far beyond me.  I have a whole new way of thinking and I know that I could easily fall back into my old ways, old way of thinking, old processes if I don’t make the choice daily to accept the change.

A change has happened in me; I desire to grow closer to God as a result of this weekend.  Closer than I’ve professed in the past; I desire to study Him, His ways, His character, His promises, Him. I want a real relationship with God, one that I pursue for real.  I realize it takes WORK, real work; lip service gets you no where, but reading, praying, studying, believing, trusting Him, walking out the things that kept me from Him, drawing closer to Him to hear His voice FOR REAL.

Yea, I’ve been changed; I plan to hold on to it!Image

August 27, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Do You Really Trust Him?

Do you trust God for real? When life hits….HARD do you trust God to see you through?  I had an experience very recently that tested this question in my life directly.  What do you do when LIFE throws a stone at you and it lands; do you lay there and cry or get up and try?

Question of the day: When life really tries you do you TRUST God?

August 21, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

   

Entertaining Christianity

Serious topics with ridiculous adjectives

Dancing With Scars

Joyous but broken, my people dance with scars.

sistersthatshare

Just another WordPress.com site