Simply Stacy Poetry

A Lyrical Journey For the Heart & Soul

The Journey To Loving Me and She…

I literally had to become an adult before I learned how what I think manifests into what I speak and what I speak ultimately turns into what I do.  Women I encountered outside of my mother, unknowingly taught me how to dislike other women, without knowing them.  I became conditioned, not because of what I experienced, solely based off of what I “learned” by hearing to “size her up.”  Now, let’s put a little bit of logic to how a person heals, transforms, and grows out of such behaviors.  Learned behavior develops in layers, year after year after year… thick and stacked high!  It takes time to remove those layers, thought processes over time, but God can do anything and He can do it quickly (His quick is not our quick though ha ha!) Something happens to break through one or a few of those layers and as each layer is peeled away, the freer that person becomes, their thoughts change, ideas change, perceptions change.  That’s exactly what happened to me… and the root of why “I didn’t like her… without even knowing her… is because I didn’t like me.”  I had to first learn to sincerely love me, I had to believe what I said about me, for real.  You know we live in a world where it’s easy to pick up a mask, place it on, live for the day, take it off, go to sleep and do it all over again day after day, month after month, year after year.  I did that, lived behind the mask of false confidence, I didn’t like what I saw when I looked in the mirror and that made it easy to dislike others, women especially, especially women who had confidence.

God broke through to me, me being completely unwilling of course… but He did.  It was in those moments, I learned, that when God sets out to accomplish something in you, it will get done and the sooner you say yes, the more impact He will have.  He gave me two daughters… they came from me, I couldn’t teach them the ugliness that resided in me.  The process began of loving me, because of how much I loved them.  I had to first accept and love the color of my skin.  I am dark skinned and within my culture and outside of my culture, I was made to feel that dark skinned women aren’t beautiful. I bought into those lies, I didn’t like the skin I was in and on top of that, I have an overbite, I walk with a limp due to a birth defect, I’m big-skinny (fat stomach, small legs, big chest, fact face) LOL, I know, silly… but I didn’t like who I saw when I looked at me, thought about me.  I remembered the words of life my momma spoke over me as a little girl. I started to believe the words my husband affirmed over me, and the how my daddy said I was beautiful. It started there, I knew when I looked at my daughters that they were beautiful and I wanted to make sure they believed that about themselves when I told them that.  In doing that, I was reminded that I couldn’t expect them to believe me, when I didn’t believe my own mother’s words.

Anyway, God began to break down the layers and with ever layer removed from me, I was able to see my fellow sister in a different light.  I found myself after about a 15 year delayering process loving me.  I loved the beauty, the variety, the originality of women.  My black sisters, were becoming works of art in my eyes, no longer beings that I disliked because of my own insecurities.  She was the epitome of beauty to me. When I looked around I saw different types of women, shapes of women and it encouraged me.  I was inspired to accept my originality and now I want to be surrounded.  I am interested in learning about the different gifts each woman possesses, I want to embrace my fellow sisters of my culture and other cultures, identifying with our similarities and understanding our intricacies.  I want to kill the stereotype that I’d once made my reality… “Women just don’t get along.”  That’s a false statement that I want to bury with every woman that God blesses to connect with me.  I love me…. and now I can love she because we are one in the same, originally made.

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July 26, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Self Honesty

I know this must be a crazy thing to say but I am really just now learning to be honest with myself.  I have insecurities, that’s no secret, we all do, but I had to start saying some things out loud to myself in order for me to begin to accept them.  For example, it’s easy to catch someone else be judgmental but boy is it tough to carry the mantle of being judgmental yourself.  Through some very recent events in my life, I realized, I need deliverance and healing in the area of judging others.  I am thankful to God for the painful life experiences that produce imperfections about me that NEED to be healed.  One thing I make a declaration to STOP doing, is befriending people too fast.  It’s unfair to them and it’s unfair to me.  I don’t give them enough time to learn me and I don’t give myself enough time to learn them so when storms arise in the building of the relationship, things are torn down and in many cases irreparable.  I carry something that I think my momma was working hard to rid me of during the 13 years she was here with me… I give too quickly.  I give everything up front, without discernment, a lot of times based off of commonalities I identify with individuals and then when things happen and I become hurt or offended then I’m sitting there looking stupid.  I can’t blame people for hurting me, I blame me.  I realize something, my discernment is not as strong as I thought it was.  I also need to learn how to rely on God to heal me from hurts instead of people.

Today, this day, April 26th God kept me still… I laid in bed most of the day, literally slept on and off until about 5p EST.  God talked straight to me… “I can’t heal you until you allow me to reveal to you what needs to be healed in you.”  So, here in this blog, I am going to reveal what I know needs to be healed about me as I stand today…

Stop judging people because they don’t think like I do, look like I do, believe in what I do… STOP JUDGING

Stop giving so much so soon, allow God to guide my heart

Be slow to speak about things when I am angry or irritated

Take time affording the title of friend to people; get to know them and allow them to get to know me

Forgive faster…stop dwelling on offenses and forgive

Quit being angry at things I can’t control

I know that’s not much, but it’s enough for me to deal with today.  My prayers are changing, I am doing a lot more looking at me and slowing down my pace because I need to.  I am getting hurt and in my hurt I am hurting others and I don’t want to be that person.  I want to love with sincerity; I want the character of genuine to be seen in my presence before I open my mouth to speak.

I will be a better me with each day I’m given.  Things I MUST accept, everybody won’t like me, everybody won’t be straightforward with you, everybody won’t love like you do, you’re imperfect, you can’t control every situation and the most important, life is filled with seasons, know when the seasons change.

I hope those of you that took the time to read this enjoyed it!

Self Honesty

April 27, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Self Reflection: Growing…

Self reflection is not an easy process; you know what I mean? To really assess yourself, what you’ve done, what you haven’t done, how you’ve changed, what you need to change it takes a lot to do it.  However, I’ve learned that if you take a moment, stop and turn the mirror on yourself you open up the opportunity for God to truly minister to you.  We all have things about us that we’d like to have changed, I’ve learned in my moments of self examination, God can and will change the things about me if I put my pride down and allow Him too.

Growth is not easy but it’s worth it.  I used to be an approval addict, looking for acceptance from people and doing whatever I had too to get it.  I was also led by my emotions, whenever things happened to me, I emotionally responded which left me in a place of remorse later.  So to say I’m grateful for growth is absolutely the truth.  I realize now after overcoming those things there’s much more work in me that God has to do, that’s why I need to make sure I don’t stand in His way.  It’s not always easy turning the mirror on to me, but I’m glad to be growing…

A better me on the horizon…Image

November 29, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , | Leave a comment

Change

The dictionary defines change as the act or instance of making or becoming different, take or use another instead of, make or become different. In a society where you’re told never change, stay the same the act of changing proves to be difficult.  It amazes how when an individual changes for the better, that even in that change someone finds a reason to spew negativity or attempt to refute the change that person attempts to make.

Well, I am learning and have learned that you can’t worry about what people will say or think when YOU make the decision to change for the better.  For me, the smallest changes seemed to have made the most impact in my life and those around me.  The simple act of speaking to strangers, holding a door for others as you’re walking through or the best of all (for me at least) changing the way you speak — ha! I am not ashamed to admit, I had a cursing problem.  I never thought I’d see the day where I could get through a frustrating moment without cursing.  Though that change was an EXCELLENT shift in my  character… I am writing this blog to discuss a deeper change, that is occurring as we speak.

I attended a conference this past weekend; spiritual — not religious.  It instituted a change process in me that I didn’t believe I needed.  Ever made the mistake of thinking “you’re there?”  You know, you’ve conquered some mole hills and don’t think you need to “Face the Mountain?” That was me, just four days ago.  I boarded a charter bus from Lilburn, GA to Orlando, Florida at 6:30 a.m. on Thursday, August 22nd, thinking, “Oh yay, I’m going to a women’s conference to go to church, fellowship, gonna shop, sleep good and eat good.”  Little did I know, where I was headed that day was the first step to a MAJOR transformation.

I did all the things I mentioned in the previous paragraph except go to church.  Hilariously enough, I believed that was what I was going for, but God had a different plan in mind.  I didn’t go to church, I went to Jesus, I had an experience with Him.  You see, I’ve been saved for over 10 years, attended church longer than that, but this weekend, He showed me Who He REALLY is.  I’d played around, got serious when “I” wanted too and well, this weekend He wanted to make sure I KNEW for real!  No there wasn’t any thundering, lightening, massive voice blaring from the sky… it was actually the opposite, sunshine, clouds, cool breeze and calm.  He strategically used EVERY experience I had to minister directly to the MESS in me.  I went to FL thinking, I “got it together” in this area, need a “little work” in that area, boy, did He show me.

I went shopping on Friday afternoon, encountered a woman who continued to take shots at me, but she did it in a way that she was trying to be “funny” pun intended.  Well, little did I know God was preparing me for the message I would be hearing later that evening.  As the woman continued to tease, I found myself responding a lot differently than had I experienced this same scenario a few months ago.  I didn’t take low blows, but instead was very direct with her, ultimately letting her know that she didn’t know me and because she didn’t know me she should be careful how she judges me.

I arrived to service that evening to hear the teacher say, “Be careful how you respond to situations; you can’t go around cussing everybody out.” Ha! In my business for sure!  From that experience to the worship breakthrough I had on Saturday evening at the worship service, my God, it WAS NOT church as usual.  I was freed! Freed from a religious way of thinking that had me under the ignorant impression that I was “there” in certain areas of my life — thank God for His keen Eye to see far beyond me.  I have a whole new way of thinking and I know that I could easily fall back into my old ways, old way of thinking, old processes if I don’t make the choice daily to accept the change.

A change has happened in me; I desire to grow closer to God as a result of this weekend.  Closer than I’ve professed in the past; I desire to study Him, His ways, His character, His promises, Him. I want a real relationship with God, one that I pursue for real.  I realize it takes WORK, real work; lip service gets you no where, but reading, praying, studying, believing, trusting Him, walking out the things that kept me from Him, drawing closer to Him to hear His voice FOR REAL.

Yea, I’ve been changed; I plan to hold on to it!Image

August 27, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ole Messy Me….

When you cross the threshold of growing out of who you used to be, no doubt about it, you WILL be reminded of what you did in your past by people, places and things.  This blog focuses on people; when God delivers you from something, grows you out of a place of immaturity, He is 100% certain of His work, what He set out to do was done and completed to perfection.  However, you managing your deliverance is a different story.  God knows you’re human and He understands that you’re faced with a fight to maintain the change within, but He allows you to be tested to make sure you’re tried and true.

For example, me, I used to be THE MESSIEST gossiper on the FACE of this earth (seriously). I didn’t just spill the tea, I brewed it, added sugar to it, passed the cup around to folks to sip on it, then spilled it.  I lived my life thinking ALL WAS WELL with my messy bessy self, until God allowed life to REALLY get a hold of me.  Now, when He first brought me out of the darkness of my gossiping ways, temptations, tests they seemed to come often.  People didn’t believe I was changed and I fell short quite a few times in the very beginning; but now I understand.  I don’t get angry when I am met with a spirit that mirrors the one that used to ail me; instead when I encounter it, I speak directly to it. Most people that are messy have insecurities that they simply don’t want to face, so it’s easier to air and discuss someone else’s dirt than to deal with their own.

I no longer call them temptations, when I am faced with a demon that is toying with me, I call them tests and I am challenged to pass them for more than just me but to give God the glory out of my life, His Story!  I have a lot more growing to do true, but once you’ve gotten past a point you learn to pass the tests; experiences like that truly better you!

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August 7, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Out Of Old Ways

How do you deal with yourself when you make decisions that land you in a place that has you burdened?  This is a question that I’m asking myself at this VERY MOMENT.  It’s easy to bounce around, smile and be super duper grateful for life when things are “going your way” but what about when you make decisions in one moment that leave you burdened, messed up or out of order in another moment?  How do you cope?

Yes, you take responsibility for where you are, how you ended up there, and you do you try to think of ways to rectify the mess you’ve made but when all else fails what’s next?  Easier said than done, I know but PRAY.  Prayer releases peaces, prayer opens your heart to plans that God has in place to see you through the mess you’ve made.  You get sick and tired of being sick and tired, you want to make decisions that lead to good consequences not circling the same walk way you have been for years.  Honest moment: WP that’s me.  But as I type up this blog, I am paying attention to the words that are given to me so that I can practice what I preach.

I will do better with situations that continue to resurface in my life; I believe God allows things to resurface so that we can learn the lesson and once we learn the lesson it no longer shows its face.  My prayer is that I learn all the necessary lessons in the current situation I’m in so that I can conquer this thing and move on from it forever.  It burdens me, hurts me to no end every time I have to face the same situation; but there’s something different about this time, this time I’m determined to do whatever I need to do to not allow this situation to burdened me as it has many times in the past.  This time I WILL be more disciplined, make the necessary sacrifices to get past this issue that only heavy’s me when I don’t do what I am supposed to do in the moments I am supposed to do them.

WP, this blog is self examining for me — showing me where I need to grow and what I need to do to get better…

Out of Old Ways

Doing things out of haste

Those things resulting in waste

Choices in moments

That affect the future

That you lace with the excuse,

“You only live once”

Or my favorite

“Tomorrow’s not promised”

But then God allows

Tomorrow to show it’s face

Having you to face the decision you made

Learn the lesson in that moment

That God has presented you with

Walk around that manhole

I know you’re tired of falling in it

Here’s some hope

In this message I give

Once you get past this hump

You’ll have wisdom to bless someone else with

Go on, LEARN FROM IT

​©SimplyStacy Copyright 2013. All Rights Reserved.Image

August 4, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , | Leave a comment

When You Look Into the Mirror — Do You Like What You See??

There’s something about the mirror — the mirror reflects what is before it, right? However, many won’t admit that looking into a mirror to examine yourself is one of the toughest things to do.  No, I don’t mean to examine your physical appearance, I mean to look into your own eyes and declare the change that is required to improve you as a person.  Self examination is NOT an easy thing to do and self examination causes one to be accountable to themselves and I won’t lie, it’s certainly not something I look forward too.  However, a self check is NECESSARY whether you want to do it or not.

The moment I stop, take a good look at myself, and allow God to deal with me and my flaws is the moment of clarity where I can truly see what needs to be improved in me.  God has to do that often with me, I won’t sit here and tell any lies…He does.  I recognize why He has to do that, I can account for at least three reasons: 1) To keep me humble 2) To keep me from judging others 3) To remind me that this life I lead can’t/won’t go anywhere without Him

Life is an ever-learning journey and I need to make sure I learn from every lesson God desires to teach me, especially those about me.  I am realizing something also, when you’re focused on what God has called you too, the process He’s designed for you to go through, you don’t time to worry about what other folks are up to.  This is not as difficult as difficult for me to admit as it used to be — I’m thankful for the increase of maturity God has given me.  Even though I have a LOT more growing to do.

I will get off my soap box now, this little blurb I am posting is something I just had to get off my heart, if for no one else at a minimum for myself.  Never get too comfortable with where you are in life, thinking there’s no room left for you to grow, that there isn’t farther for you to go — as you continue growing you’ll keep going.

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July 9, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , | Leave a comment

She’s A Better Friend To Me Then I Am To Her…

Hagahurth

How many of us will be honest and say we’ve either been the friend undervalued or the friend doing the undervaluing of the people we call “friend”??

I found myself undervaluing people I called friends after being undervalued for so long by the people I thought were my friends. After being subjected to a pattern of behavior for so long you ultimately develop a characteristic that reflects what you’ve been through. Yea, that’s me…no excuses, accountability is accepted.

The principles you operate in the most are the ones that derive from the hardest experiences you endured to learn them, wouldn’t you agree?

One of my biggest mistakes in life has been affording the title of friend to people before allowing God to direct me as to their placement in my life. Huge mistake! There is nothing wrong with giving folks the benefit of the doubt, I mean that is the least one could do. However, you have instincts for a reason, you have the ability to deductively reason and most importantly, I probably should’ve listed it first, Spiritual guidance. I mean, God created you, He’d be the BEST One to tell you who should be in what position in your life.

Misjudgment of character pertaining to friendships, lead to hurt feelings, bitterness and discord. A person that God might’ve meant to enter your life for a season for a particular reason you make an eternal friend. You give them a charge that they aren’t equipped to handle because you don’t take the time to consult God and allow Him to guide your steps as far as how you should build the relationship. This often leads to painful breaks in relationship, anger, hurt feelings, etc. The list goes on and on.

I’m on the journey of doing better because I know better. A series of experiences has caused me to assess how I am as a friend, reflecting on past mishaps in relationships I’ve had with folks, looking at current relationships, making sure I understand who serves what purpose in my life.

We can’t live on one accord if we each don’t understand our individual purpose. That responsibility is on us as individuals, to spiritually connect with God, gain an understanding and acceptance of who we are in His eyes and work toward understanding our overall purpose in life and the lives of those He connects us too.

May 7, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , | Leave a comment

Growing…Now I Know Where I’m Going

I’m transitioning; has all transitions been painless? Certainly not! However, each transition has grown something new in me or something old out of me.  I started a journey of sharing my poetry publicly; I’ve gone through the insecurity phase associated with that portion of my journey.  I’ve often wondered why I’m not as “good” as some of the artists I’ve shared stages with or seen perform.  Thinking on that, I had to be snatched back, “According to who’s standards are you measuring if you’re good enough?” that’s what the still small Voice spoke to my heart (convicting).

The next phase of my transition is complete; I’m secure, truly secure being me. No, I may not have the the most theatrical presentation of poetry, I may not be able to send the audience on a metaphorical journey to understanding; but I can speak life eloquently in the way that God intends for me to do.  I’m growing, learning with each step where I’m going and it feels good.  It feels good to get past my PAST; you overcome things daily, through self examination, acceptance and release. You examine yourself, ensure that you’re standing on solid ground, not worrying about what others are doing (I mean, when do you have time, you can barely keep up with you).  You accept that there are somethings that will happen in life that you simply can’t control, there are somethings you just won’t know till you get there, there are some things you just have to accept!  Then there’s release, release yourself from your past, release yourself from what’s offended you, release yourself from thoughts that aren’t beneficial to you… RELEASE

I stand today, RIDICULOUSLY thankful for where I am.  I have a LONG way to go, but I have to remember I had a long way to go to get here and I made it, I’ll make it there too!  The key is, I’ll never give up Hope, I’ll hold on tight to my Faith, and remember that every fall isn’t in vain God has a purpose for that too!Image

March 26, 2013 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

   

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