Simply Stacy Poetry

A Lyrical Journey For the Heart & Soul

The Journey To Loving Me and She…

I literally had to become an adult before I learned how what I think manifests into what I speak and what I speak ultimately turns into what I do.  Women I encountered outside of my mother, unknowingly taught me how to dislike other women, without knowing them.  I became conditioned, not because of what I experienced, solely based off of what I “learned” by hearing to “size her up.”  Now, let’s put a little bit of logic to how a person heals, transforms, and grows out of such behaviors.  Learned behavior develops in layers, year after year after year… thick and stacked high!  It takes time to remove those layers, thought processes over time, but God can do anything and He can do it quickly (His quick is not our quick though ha ha!) Something happens to break through one or a few of those layers and as each layer is peeled away, the freer that person becomes, their thoughts change, ideas change, perceptions change.  That’s exactly what happened to me… and the root of why “I didn’t like her… without even knowing her… is because I didn’t like me.”  I had to first learn to sincerely love me, I had to believe what I said about me, for real.  You know we live in a world where it’s easy to pick up a mask, place it on, live for the day, take it off, go to sleep and do it all over again day after day, month after month, year after year.  I did that, lived behind the mask of false confidence, I didn’t like what I saw when I looked in the mirror and that made it easy to dislike others, women especially, especially women who had confidence.

God broke through to me, me being completely unwilling of course… but He did.  It was in those moments, I learned, that when God sets out to accomplish something in you, it will get done and the sooner you say yes, the more impact He will have.  He gave me two daughters… they came from me, I couldn’t teach them the ugliness that resided in me.  The process began of loving me, because of how much I loved them.  I had to first accept and love the color of my skin.  I am dark skinned and within my culture and outside of my culture, I was made to feel that dark skinned women aren’t beautiful. I bought into those lies, I didn’t like the skin I was in and on top of that, I have an overbite, I walk with a limp due to a birth defect, I’m big-skinny (fat stomach, small legs, big chest, fact face) LOL, I know, silly… but I didn’t like who I saw when I looked at me, thought about me.  I remembered the words of life my momma spoke over me as a little girl. I started to believe the words my husband affirmed over me, and the how my daddy said I was beautiful. It started there, I knew when I looked at my daughters that they were beautiful and I wanted to make sure they believed that about themselves when I told them that.  In doing that, I was reminded that I couldn’t expect them to believe me, when I didn’t believe my own mother’s words.

Anyway, God began to break down the layers and with ever layer removed from me, I was able to see my fellow sister in a different light.  I found myself after about a 15 year delayering process loving me.  I loved the beauty, the variety, the originality of women.  My black sisters, were becoming works of art in my eyes, no longer beings that I disliked because of my own insecurities.  She was the epitome of beauty to me. When I looked around I saw different types of women, shapes of women and it encouraged me.  I was inspired to accept my originality and now I want to be surrounded.  I am interested in learning about the different gifts each woman possesses, I want to embrace my fellow sisters of my culture and other cultures, identifying with our similarities and understanding our intricacies.  I want to kill the stereotype that I’d once made my reality… “Women just don’t get along.”  That’s a false statement that I want to bury with every woman that God blesses to connect with me.  I love me…. and now I can love she because we are one in the same, originally made.

July 26, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Self Honesty

I know this must be a crazy thing to say but I am really just now learning to be honest with myself.  I have insecurities, that’s no secret, we all do, but I had to start saying some things out loud to myself in order for me to begin to accept them.  For example, it’s easy to catch someone else be judgmental but boy is it tough to carry the mantle of being judgmental yourself.  Through some very recent events in my life, I realized, I need deliverance and healing in the area of judging others.  I am thankful to God for the painful life experiences that produce imperfections about me that NEED to be healed.  One thing I make a declaration to STOP doing, is befriending people too fast.  It’s unfair to them and it’s unfair to me.  I don’t give them enough time to learn me and I don’t give myself enough time to learn them so when storms arise in the building of the relationship, things are torn down and in many cases irreparable.  I carry something that I think my momma was working hard to rid me of during the 13 years she was here with me… I give too quickly.  I give everything up front, without discernment, a lot of times based off of commonalities I identify with individuals and then when things happen and I become hurt or offended then I’m sitting there looking stupid.  I can’t blame people for hurting me, I blame me.  I realize something, my discernment is not as strong as I thought it was.  I also need to learn how to rely on God to heal me from hurts instead of people.

Today, this day, April 26th God kept me still… I laid in bed most of the day, literally slept on and off until about 5p EST.  God talked straight to me… “I can’t heal you until you allow me to reveal to you what needs to be healed in you.”  So, here in this blog, I am going to reveal what I know needs to be healed about me as I stand today…

Stop judging people because they don’t think like I do, look like I do, believe in what I do… STOP JUDGING

Stop giving so much so soon, allow God to guide my heart

Be slow to speak about things when I am angry or irritated

Take time affording the title of friend to people; get to know them and allow them to get to know me

Forgive faster…stop dwelling on offenses and forgive

Quit being angry at things I can’t control

I know that’s not much, but it’s enough for me to deal with today.  My prayers are changing, I am doing a lot more looking at me and slowing down my pace because I need to.  I am getting hurt and in my hurt I am hurting others and I don’t want to be that person.  I want to love with sincerity; I want the character of genuine to be seen in my presence before I open my mouth to speak.

I will be a better me with each day I’m given.  Things I MUST accept, everybody won’t like me, everybody won’t be straightforward with you, everybody won’t love like you do, you’re imperfect, you can’t control every situation and the most important, life is filled with seasons, know when the seasons change.

I hope those of you that took the time to read this enjoyed it!

Self Honesty

April 27, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Love Beyond Fantasy: When Real Love Meets the Road Radio Show!!

Hi WP Family!!!

I’ve got to do better keeping up with you all, you guys are such an AMAZING SUPPORT to me!  I wanted to share with you all an endeavor my husband and I have embarked upon… an online radio show!  Love Beyond Fantasy: When Real Love Meets the Road.  We broadcast live every third Tuesday of the month on Blog Talk Radio… we discuss relationships of all kinds, friendships, love relationships, business relationships… toxic relationships, fulfilling relationships, healthy relationships, draining relationships…. ALL TYPES.

This month’s episode is entitled, “When Keeping It Real Goes RIGHT!”  We we will be chatting with DC Natives, Abdul and Tonika Mahdi as they share with us how communication, honesty and no excuses keep them strong and in love!  We’ll have some music and definitively good conversation… won’t you join us? Tuesday, April 15th at 9p EST — Got a cell phone, you can call and listen in at (310) 742-1879; got a tablet or a computer? Even better! Tune in at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/lovebeyondfantasy/2014/04/16/when-keepin-it-real-goes-right

Got a question for us? Email us at lbfradioshow@gmail.com or tweet us at @lbfradioshow

Hope y’all will tune and tell a friend!

ImageowingImageImage

April 4, 2014 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Just A Beat of My Heart…

Tonight WP I sit in a very familiar place; I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes and at the same time I feel them spilling over in my heart.  I am at a place that I’ve been before, I know it, I feel it.  So tonight, I am here not to vent or bring you down, but to encourage you all. Remain positive, NO MATTER WHAT life throws your way; remember what’s thrown at you, you CAN handle!  Hurt when left untreated can fester, corrode, and turn into a hardened rust that only God can heal.  Anger when left to sit can spread like a virus and infect everything and everyone it comes in contact with.  So someone may ask, “How do you deal with that?” “How do you cope?” Start by thinking on better thoughts… you can’t produce what isn’t already in your heart to come out…

Life is not an easy feat, it was never meant to be, however, I believe life was meant to be a journey full of lessons that results in blessings.  Some of the lessons we’re meant to learn in life don’t come to us in an easy way and those are the ones that I believe stick closest to your heart, the lessons that you can walk someone else through to help them avoid going through what you did to get what God intended to teach you.  So, tonight I sit here in the place of “Be anxious for nothing but in EVERYTHING give thanks…” and I have to do just that… in EVERYTHING… my angst, my hurt, my nervousness, I will GIVE THANKS!

I am not religious by any stretch of the imagination, I do however have a relationship with Jesus Christ and I believe He has something GREAT in store for me if I conquer this moment that attempts to ail me right now.  I just wanted to connect with you all WP Family; I pray you all have a beautiful evening and continue to be ENCOURAGED!Image

February 25, 2014 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

   

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