Simply Stacy Poetry

A Lyrical Journey For the Heart & Soul

Adult Bullying: Why??

I dealt with bullying as a child, the “justification” for the actions of the bully was, “Oh, they’re just children, immature.”  Well, now I’m well into my 30s, almost 40 and I’d like to know, what’s excuses are we flailing around to explain adult bullies?  Social media has opened up worlds we once had no access to; it has also given us this false idea that we have a right to give our opinion on people’s lives that we don’t contribute to.  That is how I came to write this blog, while perusing social media I came across a series of articles discussing a “beef” between two female celebrities.  As I watched all the various videos about these two women, it made me really sad, because all I kept thinking about was everyone has their own lane.  There was no need for these two women to tear each other down the way they were and it was even more disappointing that the media was fueling the flame.  One of the ladies was very intentional in her slander of the other woman; she made sure her social media followers followed suit ultimately bringing the other lady to tears.

This is all so unnecessary to me, but it does bring an issue to light that we’ve politely swept under the rug; adult bullying.  I really wish we did believe the cliche’s we throw around, “no need to compete, there’s enough for everyone to go around,” “comparison is the death of originality,” etc… but we really don’t believe it, it just sounds good to say!  The root of bullying is INSECURITY… Insecurity that has not been dealt with births envy, jealousy, the need to tear someone else down so that you can feel better about you.  When we’ve truly dealt with our insecurities, accepting who we are, changing at our own pace, there’s no need to tear someone else down who may be a little further along than we are.  It is sad that we live in the world that masks insecurities by way of breaking others down.

Why is it so hard to celebrate the next man?  Why do adults come after other adults? If you have an opinion about the life of another person, write it down and say it to yourself.  Breaking people down to lift yourself up is the quickest way to break yourself down.

 

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May 22, 2016 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | Leave a comment

Hey SS Family! I’m blowing up y’all’s

Hey SS Family! I’m blowing up y’all’s TL’s today! Loved Beyond My Issues has arrived! I’m telling y’all this book is the product of my soul’s toil! If you decide to get a copy it will be worth your investment, I promise — Purchase today here >> http://ow.ly/ZneiC

March 12, 2016 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | Leave a comment

http://ow.ly/ZneaO – Loved Beyond My Iss

http://ow.ly/ZneaO – Loved Beyond My Issues is HERE!!!!! Get your copy today! Happy Birthday To Me!!

March 12, 2016 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | Leave a comment

It’s here SS Family! It’s here!!! Purc

It’s here SS Family! It’s here!!! Purchase your copy of Loved Beyond My Issues from Amazon right now – http://ow.ly/Zne84 ($8.00) thank you for supporting!

March 12, 2016 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | Leave a comment

Explaining Me

One weakness of me, that has been sort thrust in my face lately is me feeling the NEED to explain… why I do what I do, why I say no to certain things, why I believe what I believe, why I am who I am.  I found myself asking God, “Why am I always confronted with things… that leave me feeling obligated or guilty? and then when I am not adequately equipped to fulfill the request made of me, I feel the need to explain?  Well, I think God answered it for me, very simply…. because you need to stop explaining.

I had two family members ask me for money, within 2 days of each other.  I really didn’t have what they asked for, but rather than just say, “No, I don’t have it.” I felt the need to tell them why I didn’t have it, when it actuality I owed them no explanation, no should’ve been enough.  I think I understand now, why I always feel the need to explain… because it’s an insecurity of mine… I don’t want people to “think” differently about me because I couldn’t meet a need they had.  I know, it sounds RIDICULOUS, but it’s the truth about me.  That statement proves I still gave a great deal about people’s perception and belief about me.  One thing I’m learning to do and I really thought I’d dealt the major insecurity that’s plagued me most of my life, having the need to be accepted and validated by people.

I am on a journey to be completely delivered from that; God has validated me and that should be enough for me.  I have to believe that my “no” is enough and I have to be OK with folks perception of me, not try to control or change that by what I try to convince them.  I have to take one of those old school mantras I was told over and over, “Folks gon’ say what they gon’ say and think what they gon’ think about you, ain’t nothing you can do about that…”  I need to GET MY LIFE.  I need to be real with myself, ask and answer the question, “Why do you care what’s thought about you?” “Do you believe you don’t give enough so when you don’t have to give you feel guilty?” If yes, WHY?????

I am realizing something, God is allowing me to see things about myself that need to be changed so that I grow up and grow into a better me.  I’m thankful…

November 1, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | 1 Comment

Definition of Self

Looking over my life, who I am, what I’ve done, what I haven’t done, the good, the bad, the ugly of it all… I realized, through each experience, I’ve defined myself by so many superficial things…. as I journey forward, my mistakes in life are more visible not to hold me hostage, but to help me learning.  Needless to say, I’m learning.  Insecurities are real, however, I know they can be dealt with, I’m dealing with mine and I’m not defined by many of them like I used to be.  People need our authenticity; they don’t need to see the masks, they need to see us making it through difficulties and the especially need to know Who helped us through our painful journey’s.  Easier said, than done.  I know, but it’s doable.  I am thankful for this season right here, where I currently am.  It’s not easy but it’s not unbearable.  I hear people saying, love yourself, be who you are, but that really doesn’t deal with the core issues that people have.  You don’t just wake up loving yourself…. especially if you’re burdened by insecurities.  People need to know how to deal with their hurt, tell them how you dealt with yours… the nights you prayed, cried, days you cursed, days you lied… the forgiveness talks with God…the morning walks where you just reflected in silence.  The moments where you had to say you’re sorry, face that nightmare in order to see it fade away.  People can’t love themselves until they deal with their issues, however God leads them to do it.  Share the encouragement, that there is a CHOICE…. your voice is important, and God has a plan for you.  The definition of who we are can be found in Jesus…

Just sharing some thoughts, hope you all enjoyed!

September 6, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | Leave a comment

Thoughts

There is so much to look forward to in every new day we’re given.  Seems like the older I get the more things began to make sense and the more I find myself wondering how different certain situations would be if I knew “then” what I know now.  However, God provided the outcomes of every life situation I had based on the choices I made and that’s how I ended up in the place I’m in today.  Makes me think about the choices I make going forward, b/c even the choices that weren’t so smart, once I stopped trying to do things my way and literally gave the broken pieces over to God, He made those broken pieces into something.  Today, I realize I have to choose God to lead, choose God’s Voice, choose God.  Every situation won’t be perfect, the glitches will make sense down the line…  I didn’t trust God in every area of my life my whole life.  I had to take some hits, but I’m thankful that the scars aren’t visible. I realize more and more each day that I need God for everything and I have to learn how to trust Him fully.

August 23, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | Leave a comment

The Journey To Loving Me and She…

I literally had to become an adult before I learned how what I think manifests into what I speak and what I speak ultimately turns into what I do.  Women I encountered outside of my mother, unknowingly taught me how to dislike other women, without knowing them.  I became conditioned, not because of what I experienced, solely based off of what I “learned” by hearing to “size her up.”  Now, let’s put a little bit of logic to how a person heals, transforms, and grows out of such behaviors.  Learned behavior develops in layers, year after year after year… thick and stacked high!  It takes time to remove those layers, thought processes over time, but God can do anything and He can do it quickly (His quick is not our quick though ha ha!) Something happens to break through one or a few of those layers and as each layer is peeled away, the freer that person becomes, their thoughts change, ideas change, perceptions change.  That’s exactly what happened to me… and the root of why “I didn’t like her… without even knowing her… is because I didn’t like me.”  I had to first learn to sincerely love me, I had to believe what I said about me, for real.  You know we live in a world where it’s easy to pick up a mask, place it on, live for the day, take it off, go to sleep and do it all over again day after day, month after month, year after year.  I did that, lived behind the mask of false confidence, I didn’t like what I saw when I looked in the mirror and that made it easy to dislike others, women especially, especially women who had confidence.

God broke through to me, me being completely unwilling of course… but He did.  It was in those moments, I learned, that when God sets out to accomplish something in you, it will get done and the sooner you say yes, the more impact He will have.  He gave me two daughters… they came from me, I couldn’t teach them the ugliness that resided in me.  The process began of loving me, because of how much I loved them.  I had to first accept and love the color of my skin.  I am dark skinned and within my culture and outside of my culture, I was made to feel that dark skinned women aren’t beautiful. I bought into those lies, I didn’t like the skin I was in and on top of that, I have an overbite, I walk with a limp due to a birth defect, I’m big-skinny (fat stomach, small legs, big chest, fact face) LOL, I know, silly… but I didn’t like who I saw when I looked at me, thought about me.  I remembered the words of life my momma spoke over me as a little girl. I started to believe the words my husband affirmed over me, and the how my daddy said I was beautiful. It started there, I knew when I looked at my daughters that they were beautiful and I wanted to make sure they believed that about themselves when I told them that.  In doing that, I was reminded that I couldn’t expect them to believe me, when I didn’t believe my own mother’s words.

Anyway, God began to break down the layers and with ever layer removed from me, I was able to see my fellow sister in a different light.  I found myself after about a 15 year delayering process loving me.  I loved the beauty, the variety, the originality of women.  My black sisters, were becoming works of art in my eyes, no longer beings that I disliked because of my own insecurities.  She was the epitome of beauty to me. When I looked around I saw different types of women, shapes of women and it encouraged me.  I was inspired to accept my originality and now I want to be surrounded.  I am interested in learning about the different gifts each woman possesses, I want to embrace my fellow sisters of my culture and other cultures, identifying with our similarities and understanding our intricacies.  I want to kill the stereotype that I’d once made my reality… “Women just don’t get along.”  That’s a false statement that I want to bury with every woman that God blesses to connect with me.  I love me…. and now I can love she because we are one in the same, originally made.

July 26, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Your Choice…

There’s this wonderful thing called “free will,” that I think we grossly misunderstand.  No one person is without mistake, but the thing about making mistakes is whether or not you learn from them.  So, you’re free will… you make a choice, that choice results in a consequence, that consequence results in a process or pathway you travel and some choices leave us wondering, “Did I make the right choice?” or “Why did I make this choice?”  It’s funny, in my own learning, growing, changing, and being corrected, I have indeed found myself not always accepting the consequences of the choices I made.  Some things, I didn’t want to take responsibility for, I didn’t want to acknowledge that there were choices I made, some where that got me to this crazy point I stand at today.  I realize, not taking responsibility for the free will decisions I’ve made and instead wanting to blame God or even another person for the outcome as a result of my choices, prevented me from LEARNING from it.  I used to be that person… victim, the one people wanted to hurt, or my favorite, “Oh I’m a black sheep…”  However, today, I realize that was a coward out, a way for me to avoid have to pull myself up by my boot straps, swallow my pride and say, “Hey, you made a few mistakes, some choice that landed you here, but now, wash your face, look to God and find out the next step He wants you to take to begin the correction and restoration process.”

I am not saying, that everything someone goes through is their fault, because there are God allowed things that happen in our lives, that I just gotta be honest, we aren’t meant to understand them.  I believe that is the pill that is the hardest to swallow for a free will being… especially living in a country where many people actually believe they are entitled.  This message, is simply about taking responsibility for where you are in life.  I can’t put my mouth on any one else, but Stacy, oh boy have I taken the process I was meant to endure and blame someone else for it.  I was foolishly bold enough to even say, “God is selective in whom He loves, because if He really loved me, I wouldn’t be going through: [this].”  In essence, I didn’t believe God’s Word, that “all things work together for good to those who love God…(Romans 8:28)”  What God promised in that scripture couldn’t come true in my life until I believed the second part of it, “to those who are called according to His purpose.”  The second part of that scripture to me means, I had to first believe He called me and secondly, I had to trust what He called me for…including all that I had to face in this life.  I wanted God in my life when it benefited me, I didn’t want to serve Him, I wanted Him to serve me.  Don’t raise your eyebrows at that statement, every time we deviate from God’s plans, purpose for something, every time we make a choice that directly contradicts His will… we say in no uncertain terms, “God I want You to serve me; I’m not interested in serving, obeying and trusting You or Your plans.” I think if we truly heard ourselves saying those words when we ignore the still small voice, the gut feeling, the countless warnings He gives us right before we do something of our own free will, we’d be less likely to do it.

Even in the making of the mistake, the blatant decisions I’ve made which resulted in me enduring a tough process, there’s Hope; God still covers and protects, while He corrects. I love that the choices I’ve made can be used to make me a better me if I first take responsibility for the choice I made, repent and ask God to lead me, decrease me that He might increase within me.  I know that is something tough for people to grasp… God having such a measure of faithfulness, such a Love for a people who turn their backs on Him and blame Him at every turn, but He still blesses, protects, covers, re-directs, shares, cares, and wants them apart of Him.  But again, to see that… guess what it starts with… Your Choice.

July 19, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dealing…Conquering…Growing

I have not had the perfect life, but as I grow older and the more I mature in my relationship with Christ, I realize the pressures of my life served a purpose in the good seasons of my life. Now, when I was dealing with those pressures and even when I endure today, I won’t sit here and tell you that I’m thinking, “Oh yes, this is going to help me in the long run…” No, I literally have to take each moment, ONE STEP AT A TIME, ONE EXPERIENCE AT A TIME, and depending on what I’m facing ONE BREATH AT A TIME. There’s a scripture in the Bible, Psalm 27:14, one of my favorite pastor’s quotes it right before she teaches or preaches every time I’ve seen her, “Wait on The Lord, Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart. Wait I say, on The Lord!” For as many times as I’ve heard that scripture, it’s funny how it speaks to so many situations I could’ve (heck should’ve) used it for in the past and present. As much as people seek to refute the Bible, the truth of it is unshakeable. That scripture alone gives hope. It’s funny, when I got saved, I thought… YES! Life can only go up from here… but I failed to realize how many layers God had to peel away from me to see myself the way that He sees me…He knew it would take time. He also knew the right pressure had to be applied in order to produce what He’s purposed to come out of me and my existence. I completed the act of “giving my life to Christ” at a young age, but I didn’t fully GIVE my WHOLE LIFE to Him until maybe five years ago… Prior to that, I just did church as I understood how to do it. I acknowledged God’s existence, but wasn’t fully abiding in Him if that makes sense. However, now, I’ve endured some things; dealt with some issues, pains, hurts, aches that have opened my eyes and heart to just how MUCH I need Him.

I was arrogant enough to think… I’m so smart I got this all figured out; God is not a liar, He can’t and He won’t contradict Himself, so I had to be humbled. I thought because I got saved, did a little praying, went to church on Sundays and knew a few scriptures that I was “more saved than most” let me tell you something about that thing called pride and haughtiness… they come with HARD FALLS… One thing I am thankful for though, is I learned from the falls I took… I didn’t have to fall two, three, four times to get the jist of what God expected of me. I have a ways to go, but I can say today I take a lot more responsibility for where I end up, why things have gone particular ways in my life and I realize in order for God to do what He desires to do in my life, I have to want Him to do it. He won’t force anything on me, He won’t push His will, purpose or good plans off on me either. I understand now that I will have to endure some pressure in order to produce. I remember my pastor in Atlanta, giving several analogies of things that were placed under tremendous amounts of pressure and they produced some of the most amazing things… of course one of the most common, the coal producing diamonds, but he also mentioned the olive producing olive oil, grapes producing wine, fruits producing juices, heck a mother delivering a baby.

Pressure produces and I would rather endure pressure from God than pressure from satan… satan’s pressure is purposed to KILL, STEAL, and DESTROY any victory that God can get out of my life. Satan don’t care about me, He cares about preventing God from getting any victory out of me and my existence. I’ll take the pressure, I need to pray more and prepare. I am growing up, it’s necessary!

June 18, 2015 Posted by | The World Outside Your Window | Leave a comment

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